This thing came up in my mind when I woke up this morning and found a message in my cell phone from a faraway friend, encourages me to wake up and face this day zestfully. Just that one simple sentence brightened up my day today. It takes me back into my memories, where everything you’ve done for me saved as a treasure. And this memory is playing in my mind like a film without sound.
Some of you come up since I was a little girl, some of you when I was a pre-teen drama queen, and some of you showed up when I am what I am now, a rebel teenager messing up in my university. I knew you would always be someone I could trust. I felt your presence through the good times and the bad. When you saw me getting nowhere, when my star began to fade and I found the life’s too hard to take, I looked inside me and you were there keeping the faith you always had about me, encourages me. You touched my heart and my soul, you show me the way in the thing I should do. I always knew that I’d be lost without you.
But life keeps changing, and somehow, now I am separated from you. Getting behind the walls where the world I never knew lies, I felt like I was falling over the edge and in this new altitude, I couldn’t catch my breath. Life seems to be too difficult for me to keep up with. New way of behaving, new way of anything, burdens me a lot, and I realize that I have no one here, beside me. I am separated from the world I used to know, where everything seems to be easy like your high school uniform can reduce the money you have to pay to the public vehicle drivers. I sat in my new class at university and think while I’m having space-head without anyone talking to me, “that’s it; I’m going to go home and call all my friends.” I turned my face to my deepest heart and it was then I realized, I keep you inside me everyday, anywhere I go.
I don’t have to find you If I want to meet you, to feel you, or get your attention, you’re always be with me. In an instance, I get the feeling that we are now struggling together. I know you, anywhere you are now, are fighting the feeling that I feel. We all are now in the new world we have always dream about, and we should be happy for that, even though now we can’t really be together. So I stood up from my miserable feeling, and give my first ‘hi’ of the day to the girl next to me, and I imagine you do the same. When I talked to this girl, I know I have saved her from the same boredom I felt, the same loneliness I have in my heart. And somehow, I feel proud of myself, to have the courage to have new friend, to save myself from helplessness, and I know, you are proud of me too. And I’m proud of you too, for giving your first ‘hi’ to me years ago.
Every time that I get the feeling of lonely or hopeless, you give me something to believe in. Parents start you off in life but friends get you through it. You’ve always said that I should be strong to clear the clouds deep inside my heart and soar higher up into the light. You listen to my problem, you support my dream, and you are keeping my faith on its path. I don’t mean to say parents never help in our life, but admit it; your friends know more about your boyfriends, while your father is the last to know that you have one.
Last year, I had all of you beside me. We cry together every time one of us lose someone we love, we fight together every time someone insult one of us, we laugh together when one of us is happy, we share everything; our dreams, our secrets, our fears. We know each other well, until today. Like when I walk in a crowded place, sometimes I smell the perfume you wear and I almost shout your name, or when I saw someone looks like you and I just slap her shoulder, but she’s no you. I know you until the very little thing about you, like you know me too.
Now I’m sitting here, feeling like I am not a rebel teenager who frowns in my first day in university, but a nice sweet friend for everyone, and knowing that it’s you that changes me like this. You know how to take the best of me out to the surface. You know how to encourages me when I’m afraid, how to entertain me when I’m sad, how to make me laugh when I’m frown, assure me when I doubt, cheers me up in my fragile time, and most of all… you know how to be the best friend of mine.
You stay when I say I want to be lonely because you know that’s when I really need a shoulder to cry on. You open your door even before I knock on it whenever I need you. You hold my hands before I fall, you bring me down to earth when I fly too high in my ego, and somehow, I know you’ll wait forever when I say ‘wait a minute’. You have always been there for me.
It takes five minutes to write this, but it takes my whole life for me to really show how thankful I am to have my friends in my life. I found myself in the gifts that you gave. You showed me love that no words could explain, a love with the power to open the door to a world I was made for. Even though we all are now in different tracks, whenever you think life’s not fair, I’m always there. I know we can’t get back to the past to have the times together once again, but if we never let the past as a fading shadow behind, we know we’ll always be together inside. Think about tomorrow like what we think about now, that we are together, that things can always be the same like now.
Our jokes may turn to be not funny in next few years, but it would be sweet if you remember them. This separation is not goodbye, it’s now the time for us to fly, and we can make it, we will survive. We will be friends forever though our life changes on whatever. I would always be thankful for the friendship we share and I would never forget what we had. Whenever I watch as the sun fills the sky up with its warm shine, I’ll think of the way you filled up my heart, and I’ll be remembering you. I might not be able to be with you forever, guys, but I’ll be the best friend for any of you whenever you need me as long as I live…
In the end, I want to tell you that you are precious, don’t let anyone bring you down because for me, you all are angels. Don’t say you’re not worth it because you worth everything to me. Everybody comes and goes, but you stay still. Lovers might leave you, but not your friends. I, and the others, will be here for you if you need me like what you have done to me. You have been my second home, so I’ll provide one shelter like yours for you. Everybody have a friend, and anyone who reads this writing, although you are not really is my friend, you have someone like that near you. And for that, you should know that you are loved, you are needed, and you mean something to this world, even if you are not a Nobel winner or such.
I’m sorry if sometimes I don’t obey your warning, I just want to try new thing sometimes and you know how stubborn I am. Thank God you’d be there if I fail. I’m sorry if I’m too selfish sometimes. I’m sorry if any of my words hurt you, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry for everything I did wrong to you. I’m sorry if sometimes I can’t be beside you if you need me. But you should know that I’d always tried my best to be you real friend. Even though now I have many new friends, I won’t say who’s better among all of you because you all are different, I would still love, respect, and care to each of you. You are all the best, none of you is the worse or what. Best friends are best friends, and for me, all of you have different meaning for me, and in all those meaning, you are the best in all your weakness.
You all are my savior when I was broken, you are my defender when I was defeated, and you are the one who shouts to encourage me when I was damned by the other.
Thanks for choosing me in your sport team although you know I can’t even run well. Thanks for answering my phone in midnights even though you are sleepy like dying. Thanks for the ride when it’s hot, the shelter when it rains, and for sharing your lunch when I can’t afford some. Thanks for replying all my messages although you runs out of credits, or lend me you money without asking it back. Thanks for trusting me all this long. Thanks for make me feel that I am precious. Thanks for letting me know that I can accomplish my dream if I try. Thanks for your care, thanks for your friendship, and really thanks for loving me.
Gee! All this long, I tell the people who read this that you always make me smile again, but now you make me cry, guys. I miss you, I know it sounds silly, but somehow I want to hug you now and cry for nothing. I know you understand how I feel because you feel it too, don’t you? You always have; you always understand how I feel and you feel how it likes.
You will always be my heroes, guys. I know that it sounds cliche, but I want to say that I love you. Thanks for everything, see you in our hometown this holiday, I’ll be waiting. I’m hoping towards seeing success in your study, you sacrifice our time to hang out together for that, so you must be responsible. Kidding, I just want you to do your best, like I want to do my best to make you and everyone else who hopes for me proud. Cheers for us all for being such a nice friend for the other!
(Dedicated to all my friends, wherever you are now, especially Nindy who asks me to do this writing. ;p)
